Clair de Lune (Happy Birthday, James)
by M.L. Fox
Summary: "He was all the two sides of nature, every yin and yang, every balance… everything converged in him—this one boy with the hazel eyes and his devil may care attitude towards the world. He was multifaceted and closer to life than the rest of them. He frightened her and thrilled her at the same time." JPLE. One-shot.


**Note:** This was a story I posted in my Tumblr for James' birthday. Well, I meant to post it on James' birthday, but the idea struck me a wee late so. Anyway, I decided to edit it while I struggle to push through my current writer's block. Well, I tried to edit it as best I can. It helped heaps, the editing, and because of that, I decided to post the story on here too!

I hope you enjoy.

* * *

"Best birthday sex ever."

Lily rolled her eyes and playfully smacked James on the chest, "How dare you."

"... You're right. The one I had with Charlotte Ramsey on my fifteenth birthday was bloody fantas—"

"Stop!" Lily laughed, smacking his chest again and making him laugh along with her.

Soon enough the laughter faded as the two of them retreated in their respective thoughts. James began to trace invisible lines on her shoulder and Lily felt affection pool in her stomach before it gradually spread all over body. With a happy sigh, she pulled him closer, propped her cheek higher up his chest, and looked idly out the window. She could see the moon and noticed how it was brighter than usual—so bright, in fact, that it overpowered the elusive beauty of the stars. The sight made her feel nostalgic and incredibly small, as though she didn't matter.

Yet, in James' arms, she felt at peace. The feeling of vulnerability didn't bother her as much as it should. He somehow protected her from all troubling thoughts. She could even go so far as allow herself to believe that nothing could ever harm them, not even the war that waged outside of Hogwarts. With James there was only silence; the kind you could only experience underwater. Once submerged, you could still hear a familiar hum or a rush of sound from the world above the surface, but it was thick and dull. The silence amplified the volume of your heartbeat and as your lungs fought for air, you were hit with the reminder of how good it felt to be alive. Then you'd swim up and resurface with the distinct knowledge that life, as you knew it, had changed. That was how she felt with James and she didn't think the feeling would ever stop. He showed her how wonderful life was with him, but he promised for something far more exciting in the future.

To her, he was everything. He was good. He was bad. He was wonderful. He was horrible. He was love. He was indifference. In him, she saw the brilliance of both the moon and the sun, and the clear colours of black and white. He was all the two sides of nature, every yin and yang, every balance… everything converged in him—this one boy with the hazel eyes and his devil may care attitude towards the world. He was multifaceted and closer to life than the rest of them. He frightened her and thrilled her at the same time.

"What's on your mind, Red?" he asked softly. He moved on to drawing lines on her side; goose bumps erupted at his touch even though the tips of his fingers barely skimmed her skin.

She squirmed slightly. "You know how you thought you never needed that one person until they walked into your life?"

"Yeah."

"That's how I feel about you," Lily said before she bit the inside of her lip. "It's sappy, and God forbid I ever needed anybody anyway, but I can't accept things in any other way now and that... that's _utterly ridiculous_."

"How so?"

Lily looked up and met James' eyes; they looked dark green and big under the dim light. Silently, she ran the tips of her fingers down the side of his face. She started at his temple, slowly moving down to the corner of his eye, and then the shape of his cheek.

"Lily?" James said nervously as she traced the outline of his lips with the pad of her thumb.

"I just... I believed that being with you would be the worst thing that would ever happen to me," she said. "I never expected to be this happy. Not with you."

"Oh. You know, you're making me feel a little smug," he said, and she felt his lips stretch in a smile underneath her finger. "Took you by surprise, didn't I?"

"Yeah… yeah, you did."

She placed her hand flat on his collarbone as he leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad," he said, "and relieved. I'm glad that you're happy with me and I'm relieved that I haven't disappointed you… yet."

"Finally, yeah?" she teased. "After two long years."

"Well, I didn't mind the waiting really," he laughed. "Merlin, I'd wait forever for you if I had to."

"And what if I didn't give you a chance at all?" This wasn't a sappy love story; she could imagine _exactly_ what her life would be like without James. In vivid detail. She didn't like it. That life would have been dull, lacklustre, and completely devoid of love. She knew there was a grain of reality in his promise to wait for her forever; eventually, they would have moved on to something better. Any self-respecting person would, after all, but she was glad she didn't and she was glad that he decided to wait for her.

"Nothing. Life goes on."

"Life goes on? Just like that?"

James shrugged. "You would have found someone better than me and I would have spent my time learning what I had done wrong. I'd be devastated and jealous, there's no denying that, but I reckon along the line I would have been happy that you're being loved by someone and they're making you smile."

Lily bit her lip again and her throat felt a little tight. She swallowed hard and buried her face in his chest in an effort to hide how much her lower lip was trembling.

"What's great about things turning out this way," he continued, "is that I'm learning about the things I'm doing right with you. I've been an arse all my life, Lily, and I don't want to be that with you—I don't want to be that _ever_ again. You're teaching me how to be a good man. You're happy to give me a chance to get to know you better and love you in any way I can. I don't know about you, but that's heaps better than shagging Charlotte Ramsey."

"Godric," Lily breathed with a laugh as tears formed at the corners of her eyes. "What the bloody hell are you?"

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head and in one fluid movement, straddled his waist. The covers pooled around her hips as she stretched forward to bury her fingers in his hair. She leaned on her arms so she could bring her face close to his. "I'm just glad it's your birthday," she said as her hair fell on either side of their heads, creating a crimson curtain that shielded them from the world.

James placed his hands on the backs of her thighs. His expression was intense, and despite the little light, she detected a happy twinkle in his eyes. She stroked his hair, her skin heating up with desire. She licked her lips, heard James' sharp intake of breath, and dropped her head to capture him in a heated kiss. They were both passionate, not bothering to waste time on being slow. Her heart raced, skipping a beat whenever James rubbed his tongue against hers or scraped his teeth along her bottom lip. Her mind, meanwhile, remained on the conversation they just had and she could not stop thinking about what it all meant for them.

Three months ago, she found about how he changed for her. Now, he just told her how he was willing to wait an eternity for her and yet, if she had made a different choice, he was willing to let her go too. She couldn't understand how he could exist. Not anyone would go to the lengths he had gone just for one person. She had never experienced this before. **She had never been loved like this before.** It was fierce in the way it swept her up, but gentle in the way it cradled her heart in its palm. She was so overwhelmed that she was breathless. Here she was, loved by a boy so rare she was certain she didn't deserve him.

"Happy birthday," she murmured as she trailed kisses down James' neck and down his body.

For the rest of the night, they loved each other as though they would die tomorrow. Above them the moon continued to shine bright. Little did they know that the deeper they fell in love with each other, the more they pushed their destinies along its short and war-ridden course.


End file.
